Remember the days when summer meant the end of turmoil? When did that change? These past couple of months have required just as much energy and emotion as the school year does. I guess life doesn’t run in semesters like it used to.
All in all, I’ve kept on top of everything. But I know the dangerous moment where drive changes to being overwhelmed is heading my way. I could’ve made things easy on myself– only 12 hours of class, only one job. But I took on yet another obligation and I hope I don’t regret it.
As these hot and tiring days pass, I’m seeing the importance of reliability. I’ve always valued this and tried my best to imbed it in my personality, but there’s more to it than being on time or following through on tasks. I’m talking about Jon. Jon is steady. Unwavering. When has he ever failed me? When has he ever forgotten his commitment? I have never met someone so willing to invest. And who knows the value of investing, even when it’s difficult. I have a lot to learn from the way he conducts personal relationships. Unselfish giving. Always.
Today, we explored eachother’s pasts. What were once vague outlines are now a little clearer. It’s taken nearly two years, but it doesn’t matter. Distrust or discomfort wasn’t the problem. It just took the right moment to talk about it. Neither of us gushed every detail, but we each learned something new. Not healed, but stronger in other aspects and thus able to let go of the unimportant.
With 8 days left until I drive straight into stress, I am strangely calm. Maybe it’s knowing this will be my last semester. Maybe it’s knowing this will be Jon’s last semester. Maybe it’s knowing he will be living closer. Maybe I’ve just grown up and challenges aren’t what they used to be. I’ll probably laugh at that last sentence when I hit the shitstorm this semester will undoubtedly be.