1. If you hear the phrase “cognitive dissonance” one more time, you will rip your professor’s head off.
2. You are running out of username ideas for all the blogs you have to create for projects.
3. You are a master Works Cited faker.
4.Yes, you know what a newspaper looks like. You’re a Communications student, not an idiot.
5. You can use “social media” as a fallback topic for anything. Literally, anything.
6a. You will take the -1 point just to use the Oxford Comma.
6b. Or you will stab the next person you see using it.
7. Yes, you ARE thinking about Facebook instead of listening. And yes, you’re probably going to tweet the photo of your professor struggling to find the power button on the iMac.
8. There’s no way you can fit the who, what, when, AND where of a story in 30 words or less.
9. You use Wikipedia as a source.
10. You use the References section of Wikipedia to make your bibliography look more credible.
11. You didn’t buy the textbook and you still have an ‘A’.
12. You use your writing skills to compose a wicked “family emergency” email on a weekly basis.
13. The Watergate Scandal still secretly excites you. A lot. Like, a lot.
14. Everyone on the newspaper staff is a pretentious bastard. But not you. Because you’re way cool. And a way better writer.
15. The only person who listens to your radio show is your mom.
16a. You know there’s a school TV station, but you’ve yet to see it.
16b. Unless you’re on the staff, in which case you know that nobody watches the school news. Nobody.
17. You have a professor who still can’t use a computer.
18. You know it’s impossible to create an engaging PowerPoint without infringing on Copyright laws.
19. “Professor, what’s the point of writing this article if no one reads the paper anymore?”
20. ^You thought that joke would get a lot more laughs.
21. You will stalk your subject to get the photo you need. Candid is better anyway.
22. Step one: you choose the angle of your story. Step two: you tailor your interview questions to get the spin you want. End of list.
23. You will get a better grade and more readers for your puff piece than you will for the story you worked tirelessly to write.
24. You refuse to spend $100 on a book that’s just going to tell you that social media is taking over the world.
25. You choose to forget everything about AP Style. The editor will take care of it.
26. Netflix is still more appealing than attending the annual job fair.
27. You choose to read the least embarrassing PSA on air. Who cares if you promote recycling six times per show? It’s better than telling the world about safe sex.
28. Seeing your byline still makes you giddy inside. And you’ll take a picture of it every time.
29. You’re getting sick of the editor’s shit.
30. You’re getting sick of the director’s shit.
31. You still get nervous operating a piece of the school’s equipment. It’s worth more than your life.
32. You didn’t have enough gas to get to the event, so you phoned in your story pretty hard.
33. You think most of your professors are the coolest people of life.
34. You’re sick of hearing there are no jobs for Journalism, Film, Production, and Media Studies majors.
35. You’re going to have one killer portfolio from all the freaking projects you’ve had to do.