The Things I Never Said

G: I really liked you. I don’t think you ever knew. I think you liked me, too. On one of my worst days, I looked around the classroom and told myself, “No one in this room is worth knowing”. Then my eyes landed on you. You were sitting in the back reading a mystery novel. You were wearing jeans and a plain black t-shirt. Your hair was too long, but you looked so serene. You were far from the mundane world of Spanish II, and I was hooked. It made me nervous to even catch a glimpse of you. We exchanged few words, but everything I heard you say was perfect. I still think we might’ve been perfect for each other.

R: I’ve written it all too many times. You know. Or maybe you don’t. It doesn’t matter. I’ll leave you be. But I wish I had told you that you were one of the coolest, most genuine, and intelligent people I ever knew. I wish you had cared enough to let me be your friend.

E: I feel so sorry for you. But I feel sorrier for me to watch you fall into something that could be so easily avoided. I wish you were a different person. I wish you had the ability to see light and hope and be happy. I wish you didn’t see the world from a throne surrounded by storm clouds. I wish you could get over yourself for a moment to realize the beauty you’ve been given. I wish you could find the confidence to live to your full potential. I want you to be happy. But I realize I can’t force you to do anything. I dearly hope you will find your way someday.

C: I’m so glad it’s over. Every time I think back on whatever weird thing we had going on, I thank God that I had the strength to end it. You had very deep problems. I wanted to fix them. But all of the time and compassion I put forth didn’t change a thing. You are sex obsessed and always will be, and I know it’s not your fault. I hope you’re doing okay. I know you felt sad and hurt for a long time after it ended, but I also know that very very deep down, you know you didn’t love me. How could you have? I didn’t love you either, though I must have said it every day. I’m very happy now.

R2: I heard what you said, and I’ll never forgive you for it. I still think about it. If it had been an insult directed at me, I could have seethed for a few days and written you off as stupid. What you said about her was absurdly undeserved. I’ll never tell her, but you’ll live in my memory forever as slime.

G2: Thanks for always being so nice. You don’t know it, but the small things you always did had a big impact on me. I will carry your kindness forever.

This entry was published on May 19, 2012 at 1:46 AM. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “The Things I Never Said

  1. A catharsis? It is good to let that all g. Even if it is into the blogosphere. That some good writing, my friend.

    • Thank you so much! You always have such encouraging comments for me. I really appreciate you always reading. I feel like a bad blog friend for not commenting on your posts more often! Your clever words deserve more attention than I have presently been giving them. I will stop by very soon and catch up.
      Thanks again, it’s awesome having someone understand the need to emotionally decompress.

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