I’m disgusted that I have neglected writing for so long. However, in my defense, I’ve been busy trying my absolute hardest to finish this semester as strongly as I started it. I’m on my way. If I can just keep my head above water and not go sobbing in a corner, I’ll be fine. My biggest worries right now are my 10 page essay and my final government exam. Everything else is manageable.
Enough blabbing about school.
I really resent it when I see album reviews get Freshly Pressed before I even get the chance to listen to them. Jack White’s album came out YESTERDAY and already someone’s review made the Freshly Pressed list. How? You can’t get an accurate read of an album in one day. And now I feel no desire to review the album.
Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have done it anyway. I can’t muster up much enthusiasm to even purchase it. It would make me feel too weird, given my mental association to a certain person when I think of anything Jack White related. Which sucks, because I really do like The White Stripes. And The Raconteurs. And The Dead Weather.
I’m excited to have a little alone time these next few days. It will give me some peace with which to write my essay. I really wish I had the gusto and spark to want to write the best essay possible. I really want to be able to want to go out with a bang. But I know that my less-than-best effort will earn me the grade I want anyway. My English teacher isn’t necessarily an easy grader, but she has given me a 100 on every essay I’ve written so far. Which is awesome. I am thankful to finally get some recognition from a teacher in regards to my writing, particularly given my bad experience last year. But I wish I could scrape myself up and say “Write the best damn essay you’ve ever written! Blow your professor out of the water!” I know I won’t though. Which is disappointing.
Hang on, I thought I said ENOUGH with jabbering on about school?
Everytime I see an accident on the road, I’m amazed at how everyone slows down enough to peer over and feed their curiosity, and then carry on driving like nothing happened. Why doesn’t anyone stop? This happened today on my way home from work. There was a car on the side of the highway that was surrounded by paramedics and police cars. It looked charred, like it had been on fire or something. Why did I just drive by? Why didn’t I get out and scream and cry and try to help? I glanced upward and wished luck and safety upon those involved in the accident. But that’s all I did. What else could I have done? I feel like sometimes I’m not the best person I can be. Sometimes I wish I were studying medicine or nursing. Feeling like this makes me want to throw away everything I own. Why do I get so much when others get so little?
I’m better with affairs of the heart than affairs of the world. What an awful notion.
I ran today. I hate it while it’s happening, but afterwards I feel rejuvenated. Emotionally and physically. I think I messed up my foot, though. I used to run more often, but I’ve been making excuses.
The short story I posted a while ago titled “Endless Rustling” was accepted into my school’s yearly publication. I got a free copy of it as a thank you from the staff.
My Dad finally gave me my high school graduation present. Nearly a year late, but I don’t mind. It’s a really nice Canon SLR camera.
I’ve been feeling the need to paint. I acted on it a few nights ago, but was disappointed in everything I did. The last thing I painted, while the most simple, was probably the best. But it’s only because it was a tree. And the only things I can ever artistically represent are trees. I was thinking of posting photos of it because I haven’t posted a photo in a really long time. I used to put an orginal photo alongside every post. Why did I stop doing that? Maybe that will be my next post. Something simple. No words.
I really hope everyone is doing well. Thanks as always for reading.