Freaking Out

I’m thinking way too far into the future. If, three years ago, I had started worrying about college and what I was going to study and what I was going to do for a job, I would have had a meltdown. Everything kind of just fell into place after a progression of simple decisions. If I hadn’t wanted to work on the newspaper staff, I wouldn’t have been asked to be on the yearbook staff. If I hadn’t taken yearbook and gotten exposure to interviewing, layout design, photography, and a new style of writing, I would have never realized that’s where my passion lies.

I have enough to deal with right now without clamoring for a solution for my future. I need to trust that my simple, conscious decisions will lead me where I need to be. Whether it’s establishing a good connection or saying “why not?” and sending in a portfolio to someone, I know I’ll figure out what to do for a job. I’m good at adapting, so transitions will always be smooth. I need to trust in myself and trust in the universe to work its magic. I need to work hard and believe in my skills. I know I’ll end up where I need to be because I can make the most of less-than-ideal situations and change what needs to be changed.

The only comparable worry to this one is when I was applying for colleges. It was a stressful mess full of fights with my parents and many tears, but it’s already been an entire year, and I’m just fine. Of course there’s stress from schoolwork. There’s always stress from schoolwork. But I know it will be over, at least for a while, in 3 weeks. And I have enough faith in myself to not freak out and just give up.

This is my mind running through its motions to calm myself down. Lately I’ve been thinking about all of these crazy scenarios that make me feel more stressed than I already am. Will I be successful in my career? What do I even want to do as a career? Where will I be living? Will I move away and leave my family? Will I stay and never be as successful as I want? Will I be happy? Am I just going to be single forever?????

SHUT UP! It’s going to be fine.

This entry was published on April 16, 2012 at 2:31 PM. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Freaking Out

  1. When I spend too much time in the past or future, I miss the gift of the present moment. You seem to have a grasp of the obviously simple solution to the future; It will, despite my best efforts, turn ot exactly the way it should. I wish I wouls have learned what you know when I was your age.

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